(originally written 11/4/2017)
Karma’s Newest Reality Check
Last night, I was unintentionally aggressive toward no one in particular, and quite honestly the whole post was a bit uncomfortable to read this morning.
Well, as you know, Karma really has my back on situations like these (See “Karma Says, ‘Nah, Girl'” if you don’t know what I’m talking about).
Oh Karma, You Shouldn’t Have
Today, my paralegal class had a field trip to the courthouse.
Bae must have been super annoyed at my hostility last night, because she set the scene (for what will soon unfold) from the beginning of the day: unexpected grey skies, cold weather, a gloomy fog surrounding the city.
(I swear it was supposed to be warm and sunny today)
The first two hours at the courthouse were alright, kind of boring. The lawyers and judges had these attitudes – as if the courthouse itself set every face inside of it into a permanent scowl — as if the building was Time and thus the only reason for every wrinkle on every frowning face.
The Humbling Hour
But then, then the beginning of the third hour hit, and the whole place changed. A fire was lit under everyone’s ass. The baddest (as in the best) prosecutor I’ve ever seen (and the only, but who’s counting?) came stomping into the courtroom like she was about to take someone DOWN (and she did – you go, nameless prosecutor!).
The class was warned, multiple times (by the bad guy’s attorney, no less) about the “reeeealllyyy bad” contents of the case. We were asked, multiple times, if we were sure that we wanted to be there. Multiple times, we said yes (Karma, you know me too well).
It was a child sexual assault case.
The moms in my paralegal class got antsy.
The courtroom filled up.
The defendant walked in.
He was pretty normal looking – not someone I’d pin to a case like this. I thought, “alright, this is it? I can handle it.”
And then the prosecutor started to speak. Her opening line was unforgettable. It was gut-wrenching. It sent chills down my spine (this was before we learned the victims age, mind you). The classmate next to me – another momma in the group – closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.
At this point, there was no turning back. We were along for the ride and couldn’t get off until the end.
Once the prosecutor started, I was in a trance – in disbelief – How could he do this to someone else’s child? How could a man do this to his own child? How could a woman willingly allow a man to do this to her own child?
I’ll spare you the details until a link at the end, because once you read about something like this, you can’t unread it. It’s engrained in your brain forever. It’s disgusting. It enraging. It makes you envision 500 ways to kill someone you’ve never even met.
Judge Away, My “Snarky Readers”
(I know, I know, I was probably the only snark last night – I said I’m sorry!)
If you dare to read the article I’m attaching at the bottom of this post (it only skims the nasty details, but i promise it will still make your skin crawl), you won’t be able to refrain from judging these disgusting creatures who call themselves parents. So please, go ahead – judge away. And then remember that no matter how big of an asshole you are on your worst days, you will NEVER amount to these fuckers. And then be thankful as hell that your kids stand a chance, because these poor babies’ lives are ruined forever. That’s the hardest part to swallow, really.
- Not every parent is trying his/her hardest to be the best person always. There are selfish assholes – real assholes, assholes outside of the P.A.R.E.N.T realm, assholes who are just scum of the earth and don’t deserve the amazing joys that come from being parents. THOSE selfish assholes deserve judgment from every angle, and much, much worse.
- There are also parents who don’t reach this level of extremity, who still hold themselves at a higher importance than their children.
- There are parents who just don’t know any better.
The parents who need a break from the judgment (and the real reason for my post last night), are the ones we see trying – trying to do what they can with the resources they have. Those are the parents who need a break. The breastfeeding in public, the anti-vaccination deals, the racist bullshit, the sleeping habits of families (so long as you’re not an absolute fucking perv like these people) – that stuff.
We (the collective parent) are doing what we can. We don’t need to feel like we’re making a wrong decision when we’re already stressed about every decision being equivalent to a coin toss, only knowing the result of the toss once our kids are adults and it’s too late (and then we’re probably STILL wondering, honestly).
Be gentle. Be kind.
Unless it’s toward fuckers like the ones below, and then RAGE.