Bounce Back

R is for…

Poop

Asshole

Resilient

E

N

T

Resilient, like when you’re trying to write a blog post, but your baby wakes up for the third time since 8:00, and it’s only 10:30.

Resilient, like when you have work in 30 minutes, and you’re running super late, but Babe decides now is a good time to christen you with the Pee-While-Changing routine, and you have to put your hair in a messy bun and trek to work anyway, with pee-hair or none.

Resilient, like that one time you were up all night with a crying baby, one second hushing that baby to sleep, and the next cursing yourself for ever losing your virginity in the first place. Then, somehow “waking up” in the morning and functioning throughout the day – because, tough shit, you have to.

Resilient, like when you drink all night but somehow still end up responsible for waking up at the ass-crack of dawn with the wee-one (6:00 am, but who’s keeping track?), while BAE sleeps until 10:00 am, and then just-so-happens to have his own responsibilities at 11:00 am, so the nap you thought you’d have once BAE woke up is really just a figment of your imagination. (What? Has that exact scenario happened to you? I’m just making things up here… weird).

Man, the examples are endless. Regardless if you’re the first, second, third, or fourth example (maybe a mix of all four?), you know what I’m talking about. We’re resilient as shit.

It shows, too. Even in non-parent roles (if you can ever get away to notice them)

For Instance: I’ve never had more stamina to get through a high-intensity workout than I do now – and I’m not nearly as dedicated to the gym as I was before I got pregnant.

Why?

Because I’m fucking Super Mom, that’s why.

My cave-woman instincts have kicked in, and it’s either survive or die out there. SURVIVE OR DIE. Threaten my kid, and I’ll cut you, motherfucker.

(…I probably won’t cut you, because that’s, like, a really bloody situation… and I really don’t want to clean up more than I have to.)

(But you get it, right?)

A Parody for the Kids

Original “track” by Big Sean – “Bounce Back” (Honestly, the whole song is like the definition of resilience)

(Listen and imagine here)
Last night took an L, but today I bounce back
Boy, I been tired as hell, cashed my sleep and bounced back
Babe won’t relax, but fuck this shit, just bounce back
If you a real one, then you know how to bounce back

Look, I woke up in beast mode
With my baby, that’s Moana and Sina though
Been up since 5, these niggas sleep though
Only thing that sold out is the beds though (Never sold my soul, never will never have)
Baby, how dare you stand before me and not respect my authority
If you fuck with my kids’ toy, I’mma drop the L and get gory
I’ve done everything except worry
Sleepless Mama, my life story
Faith of a mustard seed, I keep growing
I know that this life was meant for me
Moms change diapers more than wishin’ wells
Karma come around I’ll wish ’em well
Livin’ like I’m on a limitless pill
I kill the scene like I’m Denzel
Crazy like my jacket strapped up
Baby won’t do anything but act up
“Brown paper bag like the lunch packed up”
Back, back, back, back up
“Mommy, I’mma need like 10 feet”
He’s gonna try to stomp me out with his tiny ass feet!
I won’t lose my temper
So I’m gonna count to ten, please.
If I lose 1, I bounce back like 2, 3 did with 4, 5
Seen playrooms turn to homicides, ain’t too many seen both sides
Parentless people, fuck what you know
Bro, I’m takin’ back control
The under dog just turned into the wolf and the hunger steady grows
Yeah, I call shots while you call off
Never takin’ summer or fall off
When you stay that committed to it, you just fall down and never fall off

Bouncin’ back,
Momma Cheeks.

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